Sunday, 29 April 2012

Rather than a daily blog, I am going to compose weekly essays and share my pearls of wisdom with you.  My first one will be about Responsibility. . .



Responsibility
 
 
Back in 1995, after many, many Gorden’s and Tonic, my partner and I decided at a quarter past stupid o’clock in the morning to write a letter to Iceland.  We had just consumed a ‘Beanie-Bar’, a chocolate bar with smarties in it.  I can’t tell you the actual contents of the letter because we were very merry, but we know it started with and went along the lines of “Dear Customer Services Type Person” and then yorped on about the gorgeous chocolate bar, and it could only be better if they made it bigger and a little cheaper, but other than that it was very gorgeous and tasty.  A couple of weeks later we got a reply, written in good humour it said that they “passed our lovely comments on to the gorgeous chocolate buyer – the chocolate not the buyer, although he is very nice” and to say thank you for “making them smile”, they enclosed a voucher to buy more gorgeous chocolate bars, signed “The Senior Customer Services Type Person!”

Last week, I received an email at work outlining how a provider of telecare services for vulnerable people were going to charge us an exorbitant fee for a service that they could have done as a good will gesture.  They have had the contract to maintain and service this equipment for over ten years that I know of, probably longer, and although they could tell us how to do the simple task we required, they wouldn’t.  I replied ‘That’s classic Name of Company!  Never knowingly helpful when they can so charge you a fortune, which is why we should tender for the new hardware rather than simply go with a single tender as suggested by XX’.  The problem was, I hit the ‘Reply All’ button not realising the provider was on the circulation list!  Bugger!  Sadly, the recall facility didn’t work with third party email systems, and they got to read my pearls of wisdom regarding the quality of their customer service.  I replied to an initial reply apologising for my mistake, and then informed my manager of the latest dangler I had dropped.

Now if that were me, I would have thought, Right here’s an unhappy customer and we stand to lose a contract worth several hundred thousand pounds and the associated maintenance contract. Instead, I got challenged to “explain how I am qualified to make such a judgement. . . ”

You can imagine I was thrilled, and told the provider that I would not be explaining myself to her, and that with respect the matter was now closed.  However, I was sat next to a colleague who was trying to keep a straight face when two minutes later the phone rang and the stroppy goose was trying to locate me and my position within the organisation. 

Whatever chance they had of winning me over has since gone, and the poor opinion I have of their company has been reinforced.  Iceland on the other hand brings a smile to my face whenever I think about some cute and gorgeous chocolate buyer counting out his smarties. . .

This week’s Brain Fart will be exploring the spirit of responsibility in the modern world and how we tolerate piss-poor service on a daily basis. Why?  Just why?  

Saturday, 28 April 2012

For years, I have been ranting about the absolute stupidity of everyday life.  I have shared many a good rant with my car radio, and wondered where all the commonsense has gone, along with all the odd socks it often just dissappears.  I have decided it's time to share my Brain Farts with the good people of the world

Then there is the every day things you see and hear in life and you just think 'Why - just why?' for example, next time you are stuck in traffic driving down a motorway, count how many pairs of underwear you see in the central reservation. . .  how the hell do people loose their underwear on a motorway?

Mostly news and topical, or just funny things I hear along the way to follow. . . !!